Potato Chips, my own worst enemy

Alice in Wonderland

I love chips, they're my weakness (well them and noodles, but that's a different blog post waiting to be written).  Those salty tangy deep fried deliciousness in every bite potato chips.  Once I start eating them I seems to have zero self control to stop.  Those thin flat circles of potatoey goodness.  One bite and I feel like I'm Alice in Wonderland, falling down a hole of potato chip indulgence. One chip is all it seems to take. I will eat them until I am full and then eat them tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.  I have found that the only way to stay out of this downward spiral is to abstain from eating even one. If one chip makes it's way from the bag or bowl and into my hand then into my mouth I will feel just rotten.  I don't mean rotten in the sense that I have no self-control and I'm emotionally wrought over it, I mean rotten because chips make me feel terrible.  My stomach hates them.  I get all bloated and yucky and gross. It takes at least 4 days after the last chip is consumed to feel somewhat normal again, and almost an entire week until I feel totally normal.  If you read my Stomach Problems post, you can imagine waiting an entire week to feel normal is actually quite hard for me cause of all the other foods that make me feel yucky.

The reason that I'm bringing up my total lack of self control when eating chips is because I feel the last few weeks have been like that, little to no self control when it has come to making good food choices. Any thing that looks tasty or smells good or I just plain want it, I've eaten.  In all honesty it really hasn't been that bad, but now that I'm in crunch time to fit into a bridesmaid dress I really shouldn't be overindulging.

I picked up the bridesmaid dress two weeks ago and it fits, sort of.  I need someone else to do up the zipper for me and it's tight, quite tight.  I can wear it as is because at least I don't look like a sausage trying to pop out of it's casing.  The dress is actually quite flattering and looks good on me.  It's just really, really tight (around the upper body area).  I have a fear that wearing this dress all day, at an outdoor wedding that is taking place in a day camp with lots of activities, will not be the most comfortable thing I could do.  Since the dress cost a bit of money I would really like to wear it the entire day and not just for the ceremony and photos.

It's time to take back control over my food choices instead of letting my taste buds make the decisions for me.  Yesterday I managed to resist the chocolate cake that was calling to me from the lunch room at work and in the evening I avoided eating a piece of delicious apple pie that was calling to me and whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I must go "cold turkey".  I do know that denying yourself everything isn't good either, but for some time there I was doing really well with having only one dessert per week (usually saved for Sunday dinner) and I'm going to get back to that.  To help aid in my new-old quest I'm going to keep track of everything I'm eating using the my fitness pal app on my iPhone.  Hopefully this will help me get back on track and re-gain control over those taste buds.

Chocolate Cake

This is currently sitting in my office:

Chocolate Cake

It's right here Ray, It's looking at me.

I really want to eat a piece.  I ate a small piece yesterday since it was a birthday cake for the boss after all.  I thought I was going to be saved from the temptation of eating more because the boss took the cake home yesterday to share with her family.  She brought it back today.  BROUGHT IT BACK!!!  Now I can heard it whispering to me from the back lunch room, eat me, I am delicious and moist and chocolaty.  A Martha Stewart recipe I was told, by the professionally trained chef in the office.  She said that even she was impressed with how well the cake turned out.  Ignoring that face that this hunk of cake is sitting not more than 20 feet away from me is really hard.  Chocolate cake doesn't really fit in with my current diet plan. MUST RESIST.

Jean Luc Picard

UPDATE: I resisted!   Borg I will beat you.

Stomach Problems

Have I ever mentioned that I hate my digestive tract? I don’t have major problems like IBS or crohn’s, but I do have a lactose intolerance and my gallbladder has been removed which make digesting some foods more difficult. My lactose intolerance is not super bad any more, I can handle small amounts of dairy without upsetting my stomach (most of the time) however, there are time that my stomach does decide to wreak havoc because I either ate too much dairy, the wrong type or dairy or just because it felt like it.

Last month my stomach decided to become uncooperative to lattes (which I could normally drink without a problem) so I decided for a little while to make the switch to soy milk. I figured it was a lactose free and delicious way to continue having my lattes. Not that long after the switch I started feeling quite bloated and uncomfortable, not really thinking anything of it other than I hate my stomach and the problems it seems to present to me. A few weeks pass and I continue to feel yucky and bloated, and as any person does, I try to self-diagnose myself. Well turns out that I had all the symptoms of ovarian cancer. Not being a hypochondriac I was pretty sure I didn’t have cancer and continued to wonder when my stomach would be happy again. A few more days pass and I end up going a weekend without having a soy latte. Come Monday I realize that I finally feel normal again and was super excited! I grabbed a soy latte at lunch that day and within 30 mins I felt all yucky and bloated again. Something clicked in my brain so back to the internet I went with some more search terms. Turns out that you can have soy intolerance. Sigh…I hate my stomach.

UPDATE: After I posted this blog, my mom told me that I've always been sensitive to soy milk, even as a baby. I guess because I never had soy in large amounts before I just chalked up my bloating to lactose or no gallbladder.